


"I'm kind of working right now."

by witheringWriter



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (mwahahahaha), M/M, Sexual Content, businessman!Jake, unedited, waiter!Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-09
Updated: 2013-01-09
Packaged: 2017-11-24 06:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/631502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witheringWriter/pseuds/witheringWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake stumbles upon a very attractive club/bar waiter. Dirk serves a smoking hot businessman. The businessman wants to do business and the waiter wants him to wait.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I'm kind of working right now."

**Author's Note:**

> (uploaded from tumblr)

\---

“So what’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”

Jake looked up to some wonderfully orange eyes and shook his head with a small chuckle.

“Bit of a cliched line ain’t that Mr. Waiter?” he replied instead. The waiter smirked.

“Cliched lines are favorites of mine,” he said. “They make the other reply instantaneously with their own ridiculously cliched line and flirt back. Then a game, a tango of words, is played.” Jake blinked.

“Well, well, well. The waiter has a way with words. What’s a handsome intelligent fellow like you doing in a place like this then?” he said. The orange-eyed man smiled slyly.

“‘Handsome intelligent fellow’? English or something are you? A man after my own heart,” he swooned dramatically. Jake laughed.

“Side-stepping like how I did I see,” he chuckled. “I’m not English but my last name is funnily enough.”

“So! Mr. English, huh? So then, what are you? Apart from what your appearance says which is tall dark and hot businessman?” The waiter winked and Jake grinned.

“Oh-ho-ho! I haven’t been flattered so much. Is this the flirting you were referring to earlier? I’m Australian by the way. I guess that’s why my accent is a weird mix of… whatever it was.”

“I like your accent,” The waiter said, a small smile curling his lips in an upward fashion. “And yes. This is the tip-toeing, wordy flirting I mentioned.” He turned around to see his annoyed boss gesturing at him to get a move on from the bar. “But, alas, the fates have decided that I take your order and then converse with others to get theirs as well.”

“What a shame. And here I was thinking I could get a name and number out of you,” Jake said with a wink and a smirk. He finally got a reaction out of the waiter who suddenly blushed and tried to hide a small grin behind his hand.

“You are insufferable, Mr. English,” he said, writing the details onto a napkin and handing it to him.

“Please, call me Jake. And I didn’t mean to come across that way,” he checked the napkin, “Mr. Strider.”

“Order, Jake?” ‘Dirk Strider’ said.

“Just a beer,” Jake answered. Dirk nodded and walked away, telling a blonde woman to send the drink to Jake while he went to serve the other tables. She nodded and stumble back with a mug of cold beer.

“Dirky told me this one was on the howse,” she said with a small slur. Jake nodded and glanced at the blonde male from the corner of his eye. She smirked.

“Yeah. He’s cootie patootie, ain’t he?” she said. Jake nodded dumbly with a small goofy grin -cross- smirk on his face. She nodded with him in understanding.

“He’s a mouthy, seductive, attractive chap all right…” Jake said. His eyes were almost glowing with want for the Strider.

“And he’s got a fine ass,” she supplied. Jake nodded again before blinking. The tipsy lady cackled at his expression.

“You know you like it. Hell, I wish mine was just as fine,” she said, taking a swig from his untouched beer.

“I’m sure yours is quite…adequate,” he replied, unsure. She smiled at him.

“No wonder he likes you. You’re quite the charm-a,” she said. She got up and did a small shimmy. “And thank you. I now think my ass is a great piece. Probably not as nice as… hers,” she pointed to a random woman, “Or hers. But my lover loves me and I love her for lovin’ me.”

“I hope I didn’t offend you or your lover for complimenting you on your assets,” Jake said with a semi-serious look being overtaken with the need to laugh.

“I see what you did there!” she giggled. “Nah. Mah girl isn’t prejudiced or anything. I think I just forgot the word for what I was trying to explain… Anyway. I should get going. Gotta help Dirk out. Sorry for drinkin’ your drink Mr. Man!”

She laughed away and Dirk shot her a glare from across the bar before giving a grimace and Jake who shrugged and laughed at the silly antics of the woman. He sipped on the rest of his drink regardless if the woman had about half of it. After the drink Jake got up and turned to leave.

“If you could leave this tip especially for Mr. Strider, that would be great,” he said to the waitress. She nodded with a smirk, her eyes gleaming.

“Will do sir!” she called. Jake chuckled and waved at her since she waved at him first. He patted his pocket with a smirk.

-

Jake frequented the bar for a good while, always calling Dirk before hand. He loved how flustered he got since Roxy, the drunk waitress, would always purposely make Dirk serve him.

“Usual?” Dirk would say. Jake would nod and compliment Dirk on his looks. Then from there there would be some verbal sparring, Dirk winning most times with his large vocabulary and stinging sarcasm. Jake only won a few times since he made Dirk blush and forget.

“Why not take a break?” Jake suggested. “It’s slowing down now. Surely Roxy could handle the customers.”

Dirk turned to Roxy, already knowing what answer she would give and that was a giggle and a wink. Dirk sighed and put his tray down.

“Here I am,” he said.

“Here you are,” Jake nodded. Dirk played with his hands while Jake drank his beer. He flinched as the last drop was ‘savored’.

“What do you want?” Jake asked, calling Roxy down to order. Dirk shook his head.

“I’ll be fine,” Dirk said. Roxy was standing behind him and put down another beer and an exotic cocktail in front of Jake.

“Drink up Dirk. It’s my special one,” Roxy said. Dirk nodded and gave a resigned smile.

“I really don’t need it,” Dirk said. She glared at him until sighed and took a sip. “There. Done. Come on Rox. I have to drive your ass home.”

“Janey can drive me. Just chill bro,” she said. She left and Dirk took small sips, still playing with his hands. He seemed frustrated with himself and glared at anywhere that wasn’t near Jake, especially at Roxy.

A short, somewhat awkward time passed and Jake took to the mini-hobby of making Dirk talk to him which was kind of hard but grew increasingly easy with their round-about weird ass way of flirting.

-

It was closing time and Jake drove a slightly inebriated Dirk Strider back to his place. Dirk directed him to his door and grabbed his keys. He played with them, flicking through them all and trying to find the one to his apartment.

“Thanks for the ride,” Dirk mumbled.

“The pleasure was all mine,” Jake said. Dirk snorted.

“Hell yeah it is,” he replied. He wrapped his arms around Jake’s neck and kissed him with a groan. It was short and he turned to leave but Jake dragged him back for another. And another. And another. Soon they were just making out on the doorstep and Dirk tried to get the door open.

Jake helped out and they eventually stumbled in. Dirk pulled back, pecking Jake’s lips repeatedly while trying to speak between his breaks.

“I should get going Jake,” Dirk said against his lips. Jake nodded dumbly and watched Dirk go upstairs. His pants were left tight and his glasses eschew.

He retreated to his car and drove around the block a couple of times so that his obvious boner would die down. He growled on his way home.

-

It was almost a month and Jake saw a lot more of Dirk. After their make-out session a few nights ago they went no further. All they did was light touches and probing tongues.

Jake was getting frustrated with it.

He liked Dirk but he also like to be hands-on. He wanted to feel Dirk. He wanted Dirk, straight up. Roxy noticed his frustration and directed him to the back, assuring him that she would handle the tables. She winked and gave him a square packet. (“I don’t know what size you are so I just got the flavored one that Dirk likes!”) Jake laughed as he pocketed it and went to meet Dirk.

When Jake entered, Dirk seemed a mix of surprised and unamused knowing that it was planned. He didn’t question it though. He just sighed and gave Jake a peck on the cheek. Then on his mouth. Then it lead to a kiss.. Soft and slow or rough and hard, either was good for them. But Jake went further, pressing a knee to Dirk’s groin.

Dirk groaned and hissed, rocking into it. Jake lifted Dirk into his arms and pressed him against the wall, holding Dirk’s arm above his head. He used his free hand to caress Dirk’s clothed thighs. Dirk wiggled his arms out of Jake’s grip and tried pushing him back only to pull him closer.

“Jake. Jake. Jake,” he muttered against Jake’s lips. Jake lifted Dirk’s shirt over his head.

“Jake. It’s still my shift,” Dirk said, glancing at his work shirt before turning back to the Australian man.

“Rox will handle it,” Jake replied, unbuckling his pants. Dirk chuckled and then whined when his hardening length was touched, even though it was gently. Dirk moaned and hoped to god the loud music Roxy ordered the DJ to play would override him.

“Oh my fucking God,” Dirk moaned. Jake had started to slowly stoke his dick without the barrier of his underwear and it felt so undoing. His insides unraveled and he felt almost sick with how damn fucking good it felt.

“You know, I’ve wanted to this since I first spoke to you,” Jake said huskily. Dirk laughed, breathless.

“‘Spoke to you’?” Dirk asked. “Ah- Fuck- So it wasn’t when you first saw how fucking sexy I was. Don’t deny that was what caught your eye English- Ngnn.”

“I did think you were good-looking,” Jake shrugged, breathing heavily when Dirk reached and grabbed for his cock. “Damn it- But when you started talking, just being so round-a-bout and stubborn, I really enjoyed the challenge.”

“Don’t tell me off for being stubborn,” Dirk scowled, kissing Jake’s neck and working the man’s shirt off.

“But you are! You kept rejecting going further than the usual make out,” Jake protested. “Fuck, do you know how uncomfortable and painful it was to get turned on and then turned away?”

“I’m sorry,” Dirk said. He caressed his face and kissed his cheek. “Can’t stop me from being nervous.”

“So you’re not now?” Jake asked, grabbing Dirk’s ass and giving it a squeeze. Dirk yelped and hit his shoulder.

“I’m nervous as fuck,” Dirk chuckled with a worried look. “But I guess I’ll have to pay you back for your little dry spell huh?”

“What do you-?”

Dirk slid downwards and got on his knees. He stroked the throbbing cock in his face and gave it an experimental lick. Jake hissed and dropped his head on the wall, one arm propping him up and the other stroking Dirk’s cheek.

Dirk continued fisting Jake’s cock, stroking his own feverishly. With a shuddering breath he sucked lightly on Jake’s engorged length. Jake moaned because holy fuck it felt hot. It looked hot too. Jake looked down at Dirk who was red-faced and sweat-sleek. His cheeks would cave in and back out with each suck and he would occasionally bite the tip, slide along the side and then lick all the way from the underside, taking the cock back into his mouth. Jake could feel himself about to come and he thrust into Dirk’s mouth, deep into the wet cavern. Dirk groaned in the back of his throat, his fisted thrusts on his dick timed at the same time as Jake’s violent thrusts into his mouth.

“Fuck!” Jake groaned. Dirk knew he was going to cum soon and so he sped up the pace of his hand. He gripped it tightly when his member burst with the sticky white liquid and he felt Jake’s in his mouth. Dirk licked the rest off and swallowed it. He had to force it down since his throat was still a little raw but whatever got a reaction out of Jake was good.

“It was a good thing we took our clothes off, now that I think about it,” Dirk said, coughing a little while standing back up. Jake reached over to wipe the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Dirk leaned into the hand and kissed it before kissing Jake again.

“I’m still not finished,” Jake muttered. Dirk blushed and nodded.

“I don’t think I am either to be honest,” he replied. “I’ve been holding back awhile as well.”

“Hands on the wall then,” Jake instructed lowly. Dirk swallowed again and gave a short nod of his head, putting his hands on the wall. Jake pressed against him, his cock hardening as it was rubbed against the crease of Dirk’s ass. He moved a little lower, spraying light kisses on his back, and was soon on his knees.

“Jake?” Dirk questioned in a moan. Jake gave a grunt before licking the base of Dirk’s cock from his underside, then to the back of his balls and up to Dirk’s hole. His tongue probed the tight ring, swirling along the inner walls and spreading Dirk’s cheeks apart just to get deeper.

“N-No- Oh fuck, Jake stop! It’s embarrassing as fuck!” Dirk growled, whimpering when Jake’s finger slipped smoothly into his ass.

“Then you’ll have to stop because you’re the one pushing your ass onto me,” Jake chuckled. He wiggled his finger and dragged it along the wall of Dirk’s anus, thrusting back in and out again. He added two more and helped jerk Dirk off while finger-fucking him.

“I’m all ready. Just stick it in,” Dirk whimpered. His blonde hair clung to his sweaty face and Jake was a brunette mirror to the state of being. Jake nodded and got back up, lining himself. Dirk pushed himself onto Jake’s dick and pulled out, pushing in again. Jake didn’t even move until he realized Dirk was almost done. He gathered his remaining strength and slammed into him, Dirk tightening on him.

“I’m going to cum Dirk,” Jake groaned. Dirk moaned and nodded.

“Ah- fuck yes. Ffffuuuuck!” he hissed. He clawed at the wall while Jake forced his hips back against his, the sound of skin slapping skin and wet sloppy noses of Dirk being pulled into a tongue-filled kiss.

“Ah-!” he gasped. He jerked off a final time and came, his seed spurting on the wall. Jake grunted and gave a few more thrusts before he also climaxed, hunching over Dirk and panting. He pulled out, cum dripping from Dirk’s ass and down his thighs.

“So this is a month’s worth of sexual tension?” Dirk joked, limping and grabbing a damp paper towel to clean himself off.

“There’s probably plenty more if it happens again,” Jake said with a shrug, also grabbing a wet paper towel. He put his clothes back on while Dirk examined each bruise and lovebite on his body.

“I’m cut between hoping not and also hoping that sex would be as intense as that was next time,” he said, putting on his underwear and pants, cleaning whatever mess they made.

“All I heard was ‘sex’ and ‘next time’,” Jake joked, wrapping his arms around Dirk’s waist.

“Of course you did,” Dirk rolled his eyes. He gave Jake a kiss and put on his shirt.

“Now, I have work,” Dirk said, straightening his shirt and fixing his hair. Jake gave him a final kiss on his neck and a small nip behind his ear. Dirk hummed, feeling a little happy thanks to sex. Gotta love sex after-glow.

“Will it be the usual Mr. English?” he said, grabbing a bottle of beer.

“Of course Mr. Strider,” Jake said with an inclination of his head. Dirk smirked at Jake’s smug look before the Australian disappeared behind the closing door.

-

Dirk soon followed and immediately met Roxy’s knowing gaze.

“I hope ya enjoyed my present to you Dirk,” she said after coming back from another table.

“And what was that?” Dirk asked, playing coy. She scoffed then grinned.

“I gave you your man and also gave your man some protection. Your favorite flavor that I don’t understand why you like. I wasted good bucks buy you two those condoms,” she sighed dramatically. Dirk rolled his eyes before realizing what she said.

“Wait. You bought us some?” he asked her. She nodded, confused.

“Don’t tell me I bought them and you didn’t use them! You’re favorite fucking flavor! Pun intended btdubz!” she said. Dirk hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek and a light punch on her arm.

“Found a new favorite flavor Rox,” he said. She cackled.

“You are gross. You and your penises,” Roxy slapped him. Dirk laughed.

“Shut up. We’ve got tables to serve,” he said. He glances at Jake’s usual table by the back and smiled with a small shine in his eye. Jake raised his bottle slightly to him and continued to drink, staring at Dirk and his slightly limping ass. He felt pretty fucking accomplished with himself.

\---

**Author's Note:**

>  **WW:** I’ve got too much porn in my drafts so I’m writing a good majority to get rid of it.  
>  **WW:** Hope you enjoyed this sorry excuse for porn. Not exactly pleased but it’ll do for now.  
>  **WW:** I gave up on this kinda like the others. You’ll notice where.  
>  **WW:** Peace out shippers.


End file.
